Sunday, January 22, 2006

What we've been dealing with

The hybrid is here! We picked up our new car on Saturday. It will get its own post.

I also need to post about the lovely intimate wedding we went to Saturday night, with pictures.

But mostly, my brain is occupied with Montana. She is losing her mind, it seems, literally, as it is being pushed out by the tumor. She had been doing great since Christmas, then last Tuesday had 6 grand mal seizures in about 36 hours. Since then, she's had many petit mal seizures - not the full body tonic-clonic fits, but little tiny ones. Her face will twitch, and its like watching lightning pass over a stormy sky. She's always been clumsy, but now she stumbles when she's standing still, just looking at you.

She's acting out, too. I was always so proud of the way I could leave her with a quiet word in the office at work with the door open, and she was so good and obedient. When she has petit mal seizures, she wanders through the clinic. If I shut the office door, she'd howl. If we tethered her, she chewed through the leash. She chewed up a textbook at work, and when left in my van, chewed up some sunglasses, my phone charger, and even part of the dash. This is the car we are about to sell, but how can you be mad at her? Its so frustrating, I don't even know who to be mad at. She was never destructive, not even as a puppy.

Other times she's OK, and she'll finally rest. Then at night we hear her toenails as she pace, pace, paces. She's always loved her kennel, but now when we leave her in it, she pushes against the door, trying to escape, and we come home to a dog with a huge raw area on top of her nose. Its killing me, these sick reminders of her mortality. I foolishly hope this behavior will soon pass, and we'll get some more quality time.

I promise I'll write some happier posts soon.

10 comments:

Aunty Norma said...

Jennifer..I am going to ask you a question you may not like (and other readers too) why do you not put Montana to sleep if she is in so much misery?...it must break your heart to see her like that...I only ask this because it seems strange to me..I am so sorry for her, on the comments before on your Blog I have read how good a dog she is...sorry if I have offended you with my query. xx

messymama said...

Hi Jennifer,

This really reminds me of a border collie I had many years ago who was epileptic most of her life. After about 8 or 9 years, the phenobarb didn't control the seizures anymore. We increased the dose but then she was just so drunk she would stagger. Finally, she had one huge seizure that went on for about 40 minutes. Long enough to get her to an emergency vet who gave her enough IV Valium to settle her. But the damage was done. Her body temp had gotten up so high it was off the end of the thermometer, and as a result she had brain damage. When she woke up, she did recognize people she knew, but it was like she had had a stroke. She was partially paralized so she couldn't walk. She would just lay there and wag her tail and smile at us, like she was so happy she wasn't seizing at the moment. The fact that she couldn't walk at all combined with the desire to never put her through another interminable seizure is what finally made up my mind that it was time to say goodbye. I think every pet owner has a different line they have to cross to get to that decision. It is never easy. And there are sometimes doubts. But I knew Molly wouldn't ever get better, only worse. Of course, as a Vet, you know all this better than any of us. I'll be thinking about you all, especially Montana.
Lisa
p.s. Molly was always kind of a bad dog. SHe always chewed things up, ate everything in sight, and even bit a couple of people. Always the right ones! But she was so sweet and smart and beautiful. I still miss her. She would Hate the children, though. ;-)

Anonymous said...

OH,no.....This is not good news,Jenn! =) We all love Montana so very much- and hate to see her struggling. Give her a TREMENDOUS hug for me!

On a lighter note, I can't wait to see the hybrid!!!!!! =) Well, I guess I can't wait to see YOU guys with the hybrid..Anthony has showed me so many pics of it on the internet- it's not like I've NEVER seen it! LOL!

Congrats on the new ride!

Love-Bevie-

paula said...

Oh Jenn, I'm so sorry about Montana - when she has the "episodes" do you think she gets all panicked and upset and that is why she doesn't want to be left on her own, even for a small amount of time? It must be so distressing for you all, I know you will make the right decision when you feel that the time is appropriate. Lots of love XXXX

Emily said...

Aw, Jenn, I'm so sorry. I hate to hear that she's getting worse. Montana is such a sweetheart. I can't believe she's being destructive! So unlike her.
I'll keep you all in my thoughts. Love you lots.

Anonymous said...

We are all with you, sweetheart, and know that you are struggling with this next step. Love you lots, M

Leah said...

I am so glad that you are able to bring her to work. I think that makes her feel much better. Plus, it has given us a chance to love her and spoil her even more than she is. I can't help but look into her eyes and see the sweetness and the trust in her eyes. I love Montana like she is my own and you really can't help and walk by the door and love on her. We are all here with you and will support you. Please give her kisses on the nose for me. See you at work tommorow. P.S.- thanks for your comments on my blog.

ColeBugsmommy said...

Montana Big Sky is such a special dog. I'm glad you read my blog about her. I have been thinking about her and you a lot. I know that this has been a rough time for you and Anthony. We love her no matter what she does and you have to laugh at the "dental Godess'" dog chewing a dental textbook. We are with you no matter what. It will so hard for everyone when the time comes to say goodbye, but she has touched everyone's heart and will be with us always.

Leigh-Ann said...

I hope Montana continues to have more good days than bad. What you're going through is so tough, I can't imagine... I've been "lucky" in that all my pets have passed away quite suddenly and without much warning. Maybe this was just a brief bad spell, and things will pick up again -- I'm glad you posted that she's already feeling better.

Aunty Norma said...

Well now I DO feel bad! everyone else is wishing you luck with Montana...but I do always think about an animal suffering,Jenn..I shoulda known better than to ask you THAT question :o( xxx