Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Kids are Gross

Yesterday I picked up Colin, all sweetly snuggly and warm from his overnight sleep, and carried him into the bathroom. As I layed him on the changing table, quick as a flash, his little finger plucked a booger out of his nose and popped it into his mouth.

Later, he was rearranging my sofa cushions. "Look, Mommy!" he said, as he held up a fossilized cheerio he'd found. As I turned my gaze toward him, you guessed it, he popped it into his mouth and started chewing. "NO, Colin! Spit that out."

Now he was hanging over my couch, dripping mashed up stale cheerio and drool onto it.

But none of that beats my all time gross out story, the one that makes the people I work with (the ones who pick up dog poop and squeeze anal glands all day) want to hurl.

It happened when I took the kids by myself to the Farmers' Market. Anna had to pee, and of course that meant the dreaded Port-O-Potty. I hustled all of us in there, admonished Colin not to touch ANYTHING, and put Anna on the toilet-paper-lined seat. Then, as I was helping her pull up her pants, Colin decided he needed to peer into the blue water. "Colin, DON'T look in there!" I said.

As I pulled him back, I could distinctly see his wet lip marks on the seat.

Don't worry, I washed out his mouth with the organic soy soap they had outside the door.


Emily said...

Eeeeeeewwwww! Oh, that's really gross. I hadn't heard that one before.

Jess said...

Wow! That is so nasty! I think Colin must have gotten confused...your bum goes on the toilet seat...not your lips. Oh, Colin! That will make me re-think giving him snuggly kisses all over! Oh, who am I kidding? No girl can resist that little guy's charm!

EdamameMommy said...

Yikes! And just when I thought pottytraining twins was as bad as it gets...you definitely take the cake on that one. Yucky, Colin, yucky. We are into boogers (not eating them, just investigating and showing off) but we pronounce them 'boo gare' Why? I don't really know.

Anonymous said...


That's one of those stories you can tell him when he gets older - to embarrass( spelling?I don't feel like looking up this word....yes, I'm lazy).. him! =)


paula said...

Oh, isn't it nasty what they get up to!! I think the one that really makes me heave is when I put some leftover ham into the cat bowl as a treat. Later on that day I was busy washing the dishes when Luke tapped me on the bum saying "ham" and gleefully chewing on the bits that the cats had chosen not to eat. I spent the rest of the day watching out for signs of a nasty bout of runny bum!!

Aunty Norma said...

hahahahahaha THAT just 'takes the biscuit' what a story..oh my goodness me...he will NEVER forgive you,Jenn. if you repeat that story when he is a grown man...please let's not get into 'bogeys',I knew a girl at school who did that ALL the time,I watched her until I ended up HEAVING!! and the toilet seat story..wow.too horrid to think about..you have now found out that you do NOT take your eyes off kids for one second!!!