Monday, April 14, 2008

Boys will be boys

Before I had a son, I hated when people said that. There is no reason that boys shouldn't be held to the same rules as girls.

Now that I have a boy and a girl, I still believe that, but I realize boys truly are wired differently. We had all of Anthony's metal Hot Wheels out when Anna was a baby, and she touched them maybe once. Colin was pushing them around and lining them up and talking about them as soon as he could.

Something about testosterone makes boys behave like brats more than most girls. Granted, there are always exceptions.

Anna was held up as a model of good behavior in her preschool. Now Colin, at the same school, is in trouble all the time (much like his same-aged cousin in Houston, Graham!). Anthony and I worry, though, that he is being labeled as a "bad boy" there. I worry they are always expecting bad behavior, waiting for him to fail. For example, I asked his teacher how today went.

"Well, he was a little better," she said skeptically. Then, "Actually, today wasn't bad."

See what I mean about the preconceived expectation? It was only Monday; it wasn't like she could be confused about what happened today or the day before. I just said, "Okay, see you tomorrow!" not wanting to dwell on anything negative. Close quizzing of Colin about his day revealed he really had done well, made good behavior choices.

We are pretty glad there are only 5 more weeks for him left at that school. I think it is time for a fresh start -- kindergarten at the same elementary that Anna is in.

It's funny because he's been to that elementary for 2 years now, visiting his sister, and although he doesn't like his preschool, he is reluctant to leave it. I guess even little kids hate change. He didn't even want to have his 5th birthday or a party (since 5 year olds go off to kindergarten). All that changed after he saw Anna's birthday party and the load of presents. Now he keeps asking when its going to be his birthday.

On that note, here's some Colinisms! Yesterday we spent ALL DAY OUTSIDE since it was so beautiful - cool, breezy, dry, sunny. My feet were quite dirty from wearing just sandals, so I washed them in the tub as I washed the kids.

"Mommy, your hairs!" said Colin. "They are all pokey!" Then he rubbed his lips up my calf. "See, they hurt!" You can bet I shaved today.

At the dinner table, we asked Colin if he'd made a hole in the grass by the entrance to the shed with his sharp stick. "Don't do that buddy. Mommy and Daddy don't like to step in mud when we go in the shed."

Colin lifted his eyebrows high into his forehead. "But you can jump over it, like a bunny!" he said, demonstrating with his hand. "Me and Anna can show you how!"


Alissa said...

I am sure Colin will love his new school and do great.

get2eric said...

It's like in golf, the difference between a hook and a slice. You can work with a hook. You can't talk to a slice.

Seriously though I have been amazed by the difference in my grandsons and my granddaughters. Having had only girl kids myself I often was sorry that we didn't have a son but I knew, for some reason 'cos Ive said it often, that I was a better candidate for being a girl's dad than a boy's.

Graham and Colin are tough hombres to work with. Thank God for people like you and Mommy who have the patience needed. Hopefully they will work it out and become really nice men like Joe, Kevin and maybe me.

Emily said...

Yes, this whole boy thing has been an eye-opening experience! Thanks to you and Steph for each having a boy. It's so much fun to be an Auntie of nieces and nephews.
(And bless you for your patience!)

peevish said...

All I can say is Lyra must have part of a boy's brain. I'm afraid (and sort-of hope) kindergarten will be a sobering experience for her. Ruby has always been so easy, like Anna!

ColeBugsmommy said...

Boys are so much more active than girls, that's the truth! So far though, in two different classes that I've been in the bullies of the class are girls! Boys just need to be moving around! trouble!

Joey said...

I think we are so lucky to get to experience motherhood to both sexes. The differences are absolutely evident. If I haven't mentioned it to you before, I highly recommend "Why Gender Matters" by Leonard Sax, MD, PhD. As a parent to both sexes, the biology behind their differences in development is fascinating and right on target in my opinion. I think recognizing their differences helps us to be better parents (and cope better with their teachers).