Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Glass Rod Technique

Have you ever been around a cat in heat? It is the most annoying, noisy, slutty thing you can imagine. Emily's cat Sabrina was in heat 13 years ago when I was in vet school and provided much entertainment for us vet students.

You see, cats are induced ovulators. They do not ovulate until they copulate. This is very efficient for breeding purposes, saving the eggs for release when they might actually be fertilized (and cats are certainly fertile!).

This also means cats will stay in heat for extended periods of time - weeks - then have a brief remission, and go right back again, UNLESS mating occurs.

I was presented with such a female today, driving her owner crazy with the all night howling and the sticking of her booty into anyone and everyone's faces. I told her I could make her go out of heat by stimulating her cervix with a cotton swab. This way everyone can sleep until the spay appointment (the permanent cure).

Cat sex is kinda rough. The male holds the female still by biting her scruff, and his penis has barbs (like a cat's tongue, no joke). There is a lot of vocalization, then the female turns and swats the male, hissing fiercely. She then licks herself and rolls luxuriously.

So, with my tech holding her scruff, I tickled her hind end, then inserted a lubricated cotton swab. This is called the "glass rod technique" but I've always used a swab, never something as dangerous and breakable as a glass rod! I stimulated her cervix, and we let her go.

When we did this to Sabrina years ago in her own home, she casually licked herself, then rolled, then rapidly and repeatedly twirled herself up and down the hall of our duplex. This really delighted all the students I called over to watch over a few beers. "I'm ovulating! I'm ovulating!" we imagined her crying out ecstatically.

The queen today was more reserved, since she was nervous at the vet clinic, but couldn't help but indulge in a few rolls. A good sign of successful stimulation. One client asked me if it cost extra to do this technique, but I assured her I did not charge extra - consider it included in the exam fee! It just seems wrong to charge for even simulated cat sex!


Emily said...

Ha ha! Yes, I remember you performed that on Sabrina a couple times until I had enough money for the spay surgery.

EdamameMommy said...

New neon sign for your clinic door should read "HAPPY ENDING FELINE MASSAGE PARLOUR"

Save this story for reprint in your tell-all vet book of short stories, possible title "Vet Tails: All in a days work"

ColeBugsmommy said...

You could be a feature writer for cat porn magazines.

Leigh-Ann said...

I guess I've read about this before as the concept seems familiar, yet I sort of figured it was a myth. Obviously not! I've got a five month old kitten who needs to be spayed right now before I have to put anyone else through such a thing.