You're the Next Contestant

Did you know that The Price Is Right is still on TV? It was on today while I was at the gym. I remember watching it when I was home sick from school as a kid. I haven't watched it in over 20 years, and it hasn't changed. Except now Bob Barker isn't grey, he's colorless.

When it starts, those stage lights are still glowing around the TV screen. The set hasn't been updated since the seventies - those dorky curlicues are still everywhere. The Price Is Right girls still look like gesturing Barbie dolls. They have big Barbie hair and huge Barbie smiles. In one scene, they demo'd a sailboat, in nerdy polkadotted ONE PIECE bathing suits with low rise legs.

However, these size 0 girls in their fancy clothes and high heels next to Bob in his Armani suit make the audience look like they're from another planet. All the contestants wore huge Tshirts and baggy pants. I could forgive the college guy who wore his UCLA shirt, but everyone else wore the cheapest, most casual clothes you could imagine - baggy cargo pants and badly distressed jeans. And, they all were all - uniformly - at least 30 lbs overweight.

People, if you go to the Price is Right and your name is called, you're going to be on TV! You don't have to dress in formal wear, but at least wear something put together! That way, when you're staring out into the audience, hoping someone out there knows whether the 3rd number in the price of a car is HIGHER or LOWER than 5, you'll look like you at least knew how to dress yourself before you got under those bright lights and forgot how to think. And then when you hug Bob Barker and jump up and down, he won't look like he was wishing it was time to remind everyone to spay and neuter their pets.