EsCARgot

I find the crunch of acorns underfoot very satisfying. But not the crunch of snails. After the summer from HELL we've had a very wet fall. There are gastropods all over the sidewalks and it is impossible to miss them all. Too often the snails meet suddenly with death with an audible, sickening crunch.

For a while we had a small accumulation of dead leaves two paces from our doorstep. We squashed a few snails, then more would come to consume their dead brethren, then they would get squashed, too.

Today there was a snail on a leaf on my windshield. The window was also foggy, so I turned on my wipers, flicking the snail-leaf combo to the ground before I backed out. Or so I thought. By the time I reached the freeway, the snail started hauling his long body and house across my windshield again. The first part of my drive is low velocity from all the traffic, and I watched his undulating efforts. Past a certain exit things accelerate, and as I drove 40, 50 miles an hour, the wind pulled the snails shell away from his body. He pulled his antennae in, hunkered down, and clung to my windshield.

At 60 mph, he suddenly detached. Involuntarily, I said, "Oh!" and tried to see him in my rearview mirror. I'm sure he was flattened by one of the many cars behind me. Oh well. I don't love the snails, but I don't like watching or hearing their demise.