FIGHT! on Ivy Drive

There is a couple on our street that doesn't like children. Why they moved to this neighborhood I don't understand. Its the suburbs, people! Next to a park! They have a dog which they walk right in front of our house every night at 5:30. We have dogs, and so I'd try to catch their eye and smile. I even called out, "Hi," a few times. They did not respond. Even if my dogs were standing next to me, I was still, in their eyes, a breeder.

The guy (apparently named Rance) has yelled loudly and obnoxiously at children who dared to walk across his yard. Another time he yelled at his next door neighbor for mowing part of his side yard. When our neighbor does that, we say thank you. Anyway, all the kids who play basketball up and down our little side street know to avoid his yard.

Except, apparently, the 2 year old across the street. The story is, he was poking a stick in the part of his yard between the sidewalk and the road, so his 10 year old brother was trying to move him. Rance came out and yelled, "Get out of my yard, you disrespectful morons!!!!" A dad of some of the other kids came and tried to talk to him, but there is no reasoning with this type of angry human being. More yelling, and cursing, ensued, the gist of it was that the kids were "always" in his yard. And, Kurt (the dad) mistakenly called the guy, "Lance," so he retorted, "Oh yeah, -- BURT -- I'll kick your ass!" The intellectual sparring was intense!

Then, the parents of the 2 year old and some other neighbors marched down there, and pretty soon the moms were calling Rance a fucking asshole, and everyone threatened to call the police but no one did.

Yesterday, when I ventured out with the kids to go to Party Pig for birthday party supplies, 3 of the neighborhood wives were across the street, hashing it out. I swear they looked like 3 puffed up hens clucking about someone who messed with their brood. They told me their version of the fight, complete with curse words, in front of their children and mine. I made commiserating noises but I don't think I got worked up enough to satisfy them. "Obviously that guy has issues," I said.

The thing is, obviously the guy is an inconsiderate asshole, who will never understand the vigor with which parents will attack him if they perceive he is threatening their children. And he has a right to ask the kids not to be in his yard. He probably is too damaged to ever approach them in an appropriate manner. But is the best way to show your kids how to handle the situation to march down there with your brawny husband and cuss him out? And then talk talk talk about it over and over with all the other neighbors?

Hopefully, Rance will be fed up enough and just move. And take his little dog, too.