Happy Birthday, Anna

Tomorrow my baby girl turns 5. F-I-V-E. Which means five years ago today I was blissfully unaware that my pregnancy was about to end, that nights waking up every hour to pee would be exchanged for nights waking every 1-2 hours to nurse. Why did I ever think I had to wake up, turn on the light, and get my boppy pillow out, and nurse that baby SITTING UP while I struggled to stay awake? Oh yeah, because I felt like I had to make sure she was actually eating. Finally one night I decided I could lay down and nurse her, and even doze.

Five years ago today, I was browsing a gift shop and nearly bought my unborn daughter a little trinket with a faux diamond, the birthstone of April, since my due date was April 7th. At the last minute I put it back, which was quite fortuitous because who knows when I would have had the time or energy to exchange it.

Anna is so excited about her birthday tomorrow - she can't wait to open her gifts, and knows exactly what kind of cake she wants her daddy to make her (lots of icing roses). She is also PUMPED about her "Cowboy-Cowgirl" birthday party on Sunday, and especially the ponies coming for pony rides, although she wants to keep one for good in the backyard.

She is so precocious when she talks, using grown up phrases and gestures -- "Just a little bit," she'll tell me, with her eyes half-closed and her head nodding knowingly. She's so grown up, she blows me away, so that I can't even remember what she was referring to.

But how perfectly I remember her as she was when I brought her home, no longer than my forearm, spidery eyelashes on bruised little eyelids, vanilla-sweet brown hair on a warm, round noggin, tiny fingernails and crooked 4th toe on her right foot, and how I fell endlessly, deliriously in love with her.