What we've been dealing with

The hybrid is here! We picked up our new car on Saturday. It will get its own post.

I also need to post about the lovely intimate wedding we went to Saturday night, with pictures.

But mostly, my brain is occupied with Montana. She is losing her mind, it seems, literally, as it is being pushed out by the tumor. She had been doing great since Christmas, then last Tuesday had 6 grand mal seizures in about 36 hours. Since then, she's had many petit mal seizures - not the full body tonic-clonic fits, but little tiny ones. Her face will twitch, and its like watching lightning pass over a stormy sky. She's always been clumsy, but now she stumbles when she's standing still, just looking at you.

She's acting out, too. I was always so proud of the way I could leave her with a quiet word in the office at work with the door open, and she was so good and obedient. When she has petit mal seizures, she wanders through the clinic. If I shut the office door, she'd howl. If we tethered her, she chewed through the leash. She chewed up a textbook at work, and when left in my van, chewed up some sunglasses, my phone charger, and even part of the dash. This is the car we are about to sell, but how can you be mad at her? Its so frustrating, I don't even know who to be mad at. She was never destructive, not even as a puppy.

Other times she's OK, and she'll finally rest. Then at night we hear her toenails as she pace, pace, paces. She's always loved her kennel, but now when we leave her in it, she pushes against the door, trying to escape, and we come home to a dog with a huge raw area on top of her nose. Its killing me, these sick reminders of her mortality. I foolishly hope this behavior will soon pass, and we'll get some more quality time.

I promise I'll write some happier posts soon.